my life as of right now <333

When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of Mine

I look at you looking at me
Now I know why they say the best things are free
Gonna love you boy you are so fine
Angel of Mine

How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm here for now, you helped me grow

Chorus:
You came into my life
Sent from above
When I lost the hope
You show my love
I'm checkin for you
Boy your right on time
Angel of Mine

Nothing means more to me then what we share
No one in this world can ever compare
Last night the way you moved is still on my mind
Angel of Mine

What you mean to me you'll never know
Deep inside I need to show

(Chorus)

I never knew I could feel each moment
As if they were new
Every breath that I take
The love that we make
I only share it with you
You, You, You, You

When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of Mine

(Chorus)

How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm here for now you helped me grow
I look at you looking at me
Now I know why they say the best things are free
Checkin' for you boy your right on time
Angel of Mine

I can't believe

I stayed up till 7 in the morning because i was sooo freaked out that my baby was hurt or something. When in reality he hella just fell asleep on me HAH! whatttaaaa bitch asss :P thats what i get for being so paranoid. So each day that goes by, im getting more and more freaked out beacuse certain things havent come yet. omggggg. uggghhh if i think about it too hard im just gonna stress myself out and start with the water works and all that jazz. and lets just not get into that shall we?

So today, me and ian figured out how much i need to make over the summer and how much id have to work so i can afford rent for next sem. bleeehhh i hate actually growing up and do "responsible" things. jeeze fly me to never never world yea?? please?? oh if only. then after being bored the rest of the day because babe was busy, i decided to treat myself to a pedicure haha.

Then a little bit later, gizmo was sniffing the panda express bag and i was just messing with him but guess what he does? HE FRICKEN BITES ME!!! i have to admit i did get a lil freaked out, but i didnt want my parents to yell at my baby so i just washed it, put on some ointment and slapped on a and aid. Omg my hands started shaking and i kept thinking i had rabies or somethin! but turns out i wasnt :D but yea now im just gonna enjoy my boredom with some surgey videos :] toodles!!

the notebook

soo just finished balling my eyes out hella watching the notebook. I know its a hella old time movie, but mengggg. its still a good one. must say, it is one of my favorites. haha dont think ive cried that hard, you know like the whole tears rolling down your face, red eyes, and the hella fug face you make. yeaaaa that kinda crying. i think i cried harder this time that i watched it just because i feel like im actually in THAT kinda love. kinda weird in a way. its just a movie right?? that stuff isnt really real?? oh but for some reason, i really think it is. some people may go about their whole lives not knowing what true love is, and lucky me i found it so early in my life. mann. i cant believe that im in a relation like this, like man. wake me up yea? no nvm give me 5 more minutes. i want this to last.

i miss him soo much. it hurts. hella. i mean i know i really shouldnt be nothing but happy/thankful/grateful/ and lucky. but i cant help to feel sadness. Even though i know he's just a phone call away, i just feel so selfish. cause its just not enough for me, its not cutting it. I really shouldnt be thinking about how much i miss him. like sometimes it really does hurt. buttt him being online and telling me about the house he found will fix that pain....for now at least :P

My yesterday

First off, happy 15th birthday jonah :]
i really cant believe how fast time flies.
haha so with that, i think on jonahs 18th birthday im gonna write him a really sappy card about him being my lil brother. my goal: make him cry mwahaha. lol but thats still 3 more years away.

ANYWAYS
so nothing has really happened in my today so i kinda wanna chit chat about yesterday. One, member when i gave chris his shiz back, turns out he didnt want ti and i told him id keep it. so i just took one of the teddy bears and im giving the rest away. it was really awkward walking up to him to get it, and i could really hear the hurt in his voice. no more then 5 words was said between us. it was a bad feeling for me, but im hoping that with time, that we could be close friends again. lets just hope.

Also, this fool gets drunk at a party haha. it was a fam party since i dont think he wants to go to any other parties. He said he doesnt want girls on him. haha hes so cute. but when he was hella drunk he told me how much he cared. lemme tell ya, havent had a good cry like that by being happy before. then he goes and tells me to hug a pillow really tight and imagine it was him. OMG i hate thinking about how much i miss him. and yet i just broke. litterally. grawr i love him sooo much. and in such a small amount of tie. its kinda scary, but then again im totally okay with it. iono bleh. i miss him :/

This is gonna get interesting

Okay sooo first off i would like just just throw this out there: I am madly in love with IAN. no doubt. perfect guy...yea im not gonna get into that till later haha. that right there will prolly take up its own blog post. but anywhoodle, back to the reason why i made ANOTHER blog acocunt. I made it cause chris found my xanga one and he was all giving me shiizz about it anndd i kinda dont wanna deal with that, so im just making this one instead. He's just getting on my nerves lately. I never eally realized how much of a self absorbed person he is. I mean he really doesnt think about others and just himself and it kinda rubs me the wrong way.

For example...today. So outta he eventually found out that me and Ian were going out, and i know i said i didnt wanna have a boyfriend while i was in college, but this was something totally different. he's not a boyfriend to me, this kid can be my future husband! iono hellllaaaaa gay to say that but i swear its true. perrfffeeecctttt guyyyyy. on the reals. but oh yea...haha got a lil side tracked. but umm so he texts me saying how he wants all his stuff back, and i was like uhhh okay. how he responds? "you shouldnt want to give me the stuff back geeze"....really?? im just doing what your telling me to do you fricken jerk! and today i actually give him his stuff back...or at least i put it in a plastic bag and leave it on the sidewalk. and what does he do? BLAME ME AGAIN!!! GRAWRRR i was bite someones fricken head off!!! you expect us to be friends but its just not gonna happen right away buddy. i know you love making me feel bad for things i do, but im sad to say that this time its just not gonna work.

I cant believe i use to fall for all that BS before. its kinda sad on me. I really was blind until he opened my eyes :] even thoguh chris is really trying hard to make me feel bad or sad or whatever, it just isnt gonna happen anymore. I have someone that takes care of me, thinks of me, and actually cares for me. not saying that Chris didnt, but i mean the extent was totally different. but yea ugh feels good just to let out. next blog, boyfriend time :D